Life outside med

I have an unhealthy relationship with social media. It's like a drug, only its use is unregulated and carries no social stigma. My idle time is usually spent browsing random profiles and oftentimes deliberate stalking of people on Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr and whatever morsel of information the internet archives of them. I've tried to get off of it several times but its pervasiveness (seeing idle people facebook their minutes away is just too common) and entertaining visuals is just too addictive it's like junk food and straming reality TV for the brain.

And then I asked myself, "Why are you on this cheap train Aubrey?"

One, because I am bored. I'm not bored always (okay, not plenty, but sometimes a lot), but whenever I find lag time I feel like I deserve something less mind wringing. Sometimes the mere thought thinking after a long day tires me out it seems indulging on these convenient, visual bites is the easiest way to go about it.

And second, these outlets seem to me like windows to an exciting world I am missing out on. It always seems as if the world beyond my med books and bloody emergency consults is far more interesting with all the soft-lit doughy filters, thin andogynous people smoking with their non-chalance and sun-kissed bikini-clad people who always seem to find time for the beach. It seems that in the 'outside world' everything smells wonderful (while somewhere near me I find the stale smell of urine), and somehow, everything seems to be in artful disarray (hobo chic anyone?).

But then I figured, what of it is real? Sure the people are actual human beings, their clothes, smiles are maybe not photoshopped, but what part of it is not staged? When appearances seem to be everything, what part of those smiles, those seeming unguarded snapshots which always manage to feature the best angles, those kiss-in-the-sunset, feet-in-the-sand moments, are inspired by emotions as we actually feel them? How many of those status updates are just a tangle of words, back-handed backdoor brags which do not even invoke even the slightest of feeling from the people who post them? (--feeling grateful?)

I realized that my bloody, slightly smelly world of medicine may not be Instagram ready, but everything here cannot be more visceral, more tangible, or any less exciting than the next filtered photo on my feed.


Theresa said...

Wow! All I could say is that you are definitely awesome and truly marvelous creature I have yet to come across with. I have never known such an inspiring person and truly influential real-life story. I am 16 years old actually. Still thinking (doubting actually) if I should ever take a premed course. Well anyways, Dr. Aubrey, your journey has greatly inspired me and have let me get a glimpse of what might med school feel like. To say that your journey was informative is an understatement. It was not only informative, it was also fun and exciting. It is like reading a series from MMK. Hahaha. I have been reading your blog from your first entry. From when you were having doubts if to actually go into a Med school up to when you've finally become a doctor. I was relishing every entry of your story for I also got the chance to get a peek into the world of Medicine and how thw circumstances involving the patients and how the real world is grotesquely attached to poverty. I really admire your sincere compassion towards your patients. I believe only a few doctors possess such virtue. Thank you for inspiring a lot of people, most especially me. I am really at awe at your writing skills and I adore them wholly. Keep on writing Dr. Aubrey! I hope I could still read a lot from you ^_^ God bless and more power! Fighting!