By now I should be changing my description from 'writer' to former writer or perhaps has-been writer. I have not written something decent in ages, just a hodge podge of passing thoughts, insubstantial randomness, rants, and an abysmal slew of nothingness. Just as you cannot call a daydreamer an 'artist', one cannot be called a writer without having written anything. The distinction between 'writer' and 'blogger' is an even more complex, if not discriminating topic. I have stagnated. And in that stagnation, I'm afraid I may have missed a lot of opportunities, not just to write, or to share, but to understand my thinking process, to see how I may or may not have progressed, how my values have evolved, how my perspectives have changed, to make sense of my life in a way that the compendium of my present self would not allow.

I believe that among the many art forms, writing has to be the most accessible; because words themselves were created out of the necessity to communicate. But somehow, I feel like I have made that an excuse to justify why not writing is better than being misunderstood, or worst, not understood at all. Was it plain hubris at work? Am I speaking to the wrong audience? Is it sloth masquerading as esotericism? Or am I just a bad writer? The most ironic comment I have ever received is being told that I was a good writer, because they did not understand a thing of what I said.

The freedom to write does not guarantee coming through with your message. As for me, I have not clarified whether I am writing for myself, for an audience, for posterity, or for art's sake. All I know is I want to feel less alone. I want to feel that life is a shared experience. I want to be understood. I do not desire to alienate, but I would not want to compromise either. The coming posts would be more or less like this, I hope not in the same breadth of vagueness, but more of wild-ruminating types. Welcome to aubreythinksthat!


Jessica Compuesto said...

don't you ever quit writing!
I really like your blog.
You represent some part of us.
Even if you can't write in ages, you are still and always be a writer based on your works. They are amazing by the way. If you can't find any time to write, don't force yourself. Writing is about expressing freely and not to impress people. Just express it until its free! :)

Unknown said...

A step in the right direction.