The inevitable thank you note

It might seem anti-climactic of me to post something about the NLE several days after. But believe me, if I were forced to write this days earlier, I don't think it would be coherent enough to be understood.

Five days after the NLE results were released, I think I'm still in a daze. Honestly, I think it will never really sink in that I was fortunate enough to top the board exam. When I see my name in the list of topnotchers, it feels as if a different person is listed there, and I read her name with the kind of detachment that I afford the other names in the top ten. I really can't believe it's me.

I think what made it slightly tangible was the outpouring of people who congratulated me. I received more text messages, calls, comments and friend requests in a span of three days than several previous months combined. Even people I was no longer in touch with were sending me their congratulations. My mother was all over the place, calling and texting our relatives, while I remained stuck in an explicable kind of elation. I was so happy I think I was manic.

And for the first time in my life, I cried tears of joy. People know I don't usually cry, and I can poster up a calm demeanor in the face of heart wrenching situations. But the moment my mother faced me after she read my name on the computer screen, tears just welled up on my eyes and I was sobbing unstoppably. My crying was interspersed with periods of laughter, I think I could have passed for schizophrenic. Pent-up tension was rushing from my body, like a tide bursting open from a dam. It was like the months I spent studying was finally vindicated. I haven't yet experienced anything that is comparable.

The question people usually ask me is if I expected to top the NLE. To be honest, I really didn't. When you are waiting for the results of the board exams, I think the more predominant feeling is the fear of failing. I was more consumed by the thought that I made a number of fatal mistakes which could lead me to take the NLE for the second time. Or if I made some error in filling up my answer sheet that the highly sensitive checking machine would have a trigger happy tendency of not checking my paper altogether. When I checked the board topnotchers, the word I was looking for using Ctrl+Find was "far", because I was just hoping to see who topped from FEU, and didn't really expect my name to be there. But lo and behold, by God's immense blessing, it was my name in there, right in the top four.

I know it would have been impossible for me to achieve such a thing without the people and entities who supported me. And since not everyone of them will hear my thank you speech in the acknowledgment ceremonies, I would be taking the privilege of thanking them here in my blog, for the entire World Wide Web to read.

To God, I acknowledge that I would be nothing without your will (Nil Sune Numine). I know that everything I have is from you. I couldn't thank you enough for blessing me with something so immense. I offer everything back to you Lord.

To my parents, thank you very much for supporting me in everything that I do. You could have coerced me into taking the June boards, but you were nothing but supportive of me of the many months I opted to wait out and study. Thank you for bringing me up in all the comforts you did not have while you were young. I am always inspired to excel in my endeavors knowing how it will make you and our family proud.

To FEU, IN and its faculty, I express my gratitude for molding my mind and allowing to me learn and grow. All the things that I had answered during that exam was from the nourishment of education that I received from you portals. I believe I could not have done as well if I had not been from FEU.

To my review center, RCAP, and to all its reviewers, I know that by the time I went into your classes, I had gaps in my understanding of the nursing concepts which I didn't care enough before to fully grasp. I really made the right decision of not joining the bandwagon of other review centers and instead enrolling in your classes.

To my friends, the Advocate, BSN 804 and Group 16, thank you for always kidding me that I might top the board exam. Ayan nagkatotoo tuloy :P Syempre special mention si Sheilla who stuck it out with me when I was reviewing. And of course to the 3-5-100 review group, I hope I could also pay it forward to the upcoming Tamaraw nursing grads like you did with me. I wish words could be close enough to describe my gratitude towards you people!

Topping the board is one heck of an emotional roller coaster, but I would gladly experience it any time of day. To the June Tamaraw takers, believe me, there is no glass ceiling above you. You are all poised to top the board, you would only have to court chance.

4 comments:

Rjay said...

very heart warming..
congrats ulit batchmate!

Kevin in Manila said...

Congrats; I've shown you some love over at my blog.

Thess said...

Congratulations!

Kevin in Manila said...

Hi Aubrey,
Yes, I remember meeting you and seeing you on campus a few times.